Blog Parents

You can’t imagine how many women contact me, the world over, asking for parental support and guidance.
“The children look up to you,” they say, “and now they want to become musicians.”
Horror of horrors.
Mothers… do whatever you can to dissuade the kids from this career path. The life of a musician is a demanding one, if for no other reason than the number of children you end up having to support, the world over.
And musicians are an exhausting bunch: self-consumed, quick to lose focus and very
We whine, we gossip, we incessantly riff. Some of us even play the saxophone, for which there can be no excuse.
So do the world a favor, moms, and dash these dreams at once. Take the guitars and drumsticks out of the hands of the children, and replace them with instruments that might one day better the world: like surgical instruments.
If, however, the young rockers refuse to relent, then pass along these two initial tips to get them started them on their musical journey.
(1). Pick A Stage Name -
Nothing screams gold record more than a happening moniker.
Just ask Declan McManus, who could barely pump it up before he became Elvis Costello.
Or Paul Hewson, who after years of toiling in the nightclubs of Dublin, still hadn’t found what he was looking for. (He ultimately changed his name to Bono, and a music icon was born).
Schoolteacher Gordon Sumner couldn’t get arrested, he was so non-descript. Changed his name to Sting, and within a few months he had a band and a Police record.
Sticking with a stage name can be a challenging process, (particularly in the early “C’mon guys…I told you to call me Prince” days). But it is an invaluable step on a youngster’s path to rock greatness.
(2). Develop A Guitar Face –
I can’t overstate the importance of early guitar face development.
Mothers… forget about enrolling the kids in music class. They need to be in front of a mirror as soon as possible practising a repertoire of snarls and sneers. There is no sense in learning to play complex musical scales and solos if you haven’t learned how to look like you’re playing complex musical scales and solos.
Behold the faces of the greats: Jimi Hendrix, and his spacey psychedelic stare…Jimmy Page, with his signature tight-lipped scowl. Bluesman Eric Clapton would bend and pull his face with every bend and pull of the string. Baby had done him wrong, and he needed his audience to know it.
Because the fact is, when we have paid to watch a performance, we want to see the passion and strain on the faces of the participants.
And mothers… this advice need not only apply to guitar players. Aspiring musicians of all stripes should take heed. And for that matter, any devoted professional would be well served to develop a guitar face. Can you really trust that you’re getting the best possible root canal, if your dentist merely gazes at you blankly?
Frankly, no.
One more thing to tell the kids... An emotive visage is always appreciated in the act of lovemaking. Because the fact is, when we have paid to watch a performance, we want to see the passion and strain on the faces of the participants.
I end this week’s Blog with another interesting musical fact:

- Scientific research has suggested that babies are born with perfect pitch, but that they often have trouble remembering lyrics -